I’ve spent all day trying to write about fear and growth and you know the fucked up shitty part? I’m afraid of writing about it. I’ve tried, I’ve written and erased, I’ve talked out loud, I’ve asked for advice but it all keeps coming back to the same thought , “can I do this?”. Talk about irony, right.
I’m going to be honest with you guys. I’m afraid of growth. It’s not because of the arbitrary, “I’m afraid of success“ cliche. Rather, I’m afraid of becoming something far greater than myself. I’m afraid that, if I do become successful, I would be the model/blueprint that others can use to emulate within their own lives. That thought scares the crap out of me. Who the fuck am I? Who am I to try to give anyone advice? To think, that I, Vladimir, can be good enough at anything that people would choose to spend their time listening, reading or watching is inconceivable. I am not perfect and I’ve made way too many poor choices and mistakes in my life. Is that an excuse for me stunting my own growth? No, but let’s be honest, we all have something holding us back from being the absolute best versions of ourselves, and this happens to be mine. Fear is the original fight or flight response. How amazing, that an emotional response meant to propel us forward is now the biggest contributor to holding us back? What I’m trying to get at here is, we cannot let fear keep us from being the absolute best versions of ourselves. Somehow, we must summon enough courage to propel our lives forward or forever be stuck in the mundane. Or worse yet, in a meaningless cycle of work, bed, work.
Ok, so we took that honesty step and realized that fear is our biggest defector. How then do we get past that fear and use it to motivate us? Well, we start by recognizing that we may not be the brightest, smartest, or most talented person in the room. Once you’ve come to that realization, all you can do is give your best effort. Take baby steps. Try something and see what happens. After that change what you have to change to improve. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be the best. But in order to get there, self-actualization is necessary in order to produce wanted results. Personally, I don’t pep myself up, for motivation is fleeting emotion. What I do use for a long term solution is, hope. I hope that one day, it will all click. Resulting, in that feeling of success, and everything I’ve done paid off.
Don’t get it twisted though, fear is not just limited to just success. We can see the effects of fear in our everyday lives. Whether it be relationships, your goals, career, and overall quality of life. With that being said, it is imperative that we find a way to conquer our fears. Build a strong support system around you. Take that risk. Whatever you have to do to get to the next level of your life, or become the very best version of yourself. You must be able to conquer your fears. I am slowly realizing that I have been blessed with amazing friends, significant other, and family. They have all pushed me to step out of my comfort zone. As a result, I have been able to overcome some of my adversities and begin the process of growth. I can only hope that you too can overcome some of your obstacles, resulting in your growth. The conquering of fears leads to growth.