As time progresses, so do we as people. With each turn of the calendar year, we reflect on the year past and try to openly and honestly evaluate ourselves. We try to see where we are as individuals and make the necessary changes. I being of sound mind and body am not excluded from this yearly ritual. As we enter the new year, I realized that I have come a long way as an individual. I’ve opened up a lot more about myself. I’ve found a wonderful girlfriend who keeps my ass in check. I’ve stepped out of my bullheaded thinking that I don’t need a ground game in MMA in order to be good.
As a result, I’ve picked up jujitsu and fell in love with the sport, while making tremendous progress in my ground game. I’ve competed in a jujitsu tournament and placed second in No-Gi and won gold in the Gi division. From that, I’ve discovered that I am a lot better than what I give myself credit for. I’ve taken a serious liking to podcasting and as a result, I’ve put in serious time and energy into becoming a good public speaker; despite being petrified of speaking my thoughts and opinions publicly. I’ve started a diet that actually works for me and lost a considerable amount of weight just halfassing my workouts. I’ve made amends with friends that I have wronged, I’ve learned new things and developed new passions. Now, not all of 2017 was positive. The most painful of all was losing my nephew. That wound is deep and I don’t know if I’ll ever fully get over it. I’ve lost my job, I’ve upsetted and taken advantage of people I care about. Long story short, I’ve experienced some shit and as a result, I’ve grown as a person.
Going into 2018, I want to continue my growth as an individual. So I’ve compiled a list of things that I would like to continue doing and a list of things that I plan on leaving behind. No, this isn’t some New Year’s resolution bullshit. This is just me sharing with you, the reader a few things that I would like to continue doing as I continue to grow. Without further ado, let’s get it started.
Things that I am leaving behind in 2018:
1. Selfishness. Yes, I will be working on not being selfish this year. Let’s face it, we are a little selfish and I have been a big perpetrator of this trait. I had the mentality of, “my way or the highway”. And truthfully after evaluating myself, that isn’t the greatest trait to have. So, with that being said, I am going to be less selfish this year. I will be sharing more of myself, thoughts, and time with those that seek it…to an extent. Honestly, I don’t want to spread myself too thin trying to appease everyone. It still doesn’t change the fact that I will be more willing to share myself with others.
2. Doubt. This one is a motherfucker! Be honest for a moment. How many of you have wanted to do something only to be deterred because of doubt? Yeah, exactly my thoughts. So with that being said, that shit is getting kicked to the curb.
3. Complacency. I’m that type of nigga who will find comfort in things when they are going ok. But that’s not ok. I can’t settle for just mediocrity. I have to be able to push the envelope if I want to become better than great. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with mediocrity, it’s just that if I want to be the best at something, then I have to be willing to go above and beyond average. I have to strive for excellence. That goes for effort as well.
4. Baggage. This one is a bit tricky, but necessary. I like many people have issues of holding on to the past. ‘Tis not healthy my friends. ‘Tis. Not. Healthy. Past experiences are meant to be just that, past experiences. Yet somehow, they always seem to impede our growth. You can read countless of articles of how the past can fuck us over in the present, so I shall not bore you with those details. But, I need to learn to keep the past where it belongs. In the past. We are not perfect and we will continue to fuck up. The most important thing that we can do, is learn from that fuck up and try to move forward. Like pops always said in the Netflix series, Luke Cage, “Always forward. Never Backwards”.
Things I want to keep in 2018:
1. Growth. For obvious reasons. Seriously though, being able to learn from your experiences whether positive or negative is something to marvel at as human beings. Think about that for a second. You can go into a situation knowing absolutely nothing, try a few things (possibly fail as well) and eventually you will learn how to succeed. Isn’t that fucking amazing? Personally, I want to continue on the positive path that I have set for myself to get back into fighting. I’ve learned a lot about myself and I want to continue to do what is necessary for me to get to where I want to end up.
2. Being present. This may not sound like a big deal to some, but bear with me here. How many of you guys are concerned about what you have to do tomorrow at whatever time than what you are experiencing right now? I know for a fact I am guilty of this. Therefore, I will be trying to enjoy each day and rise to the challenges that it brings. By doing this, I am hoping to maximize the positive experiences that bring upon myself, rather than stressing over what I may or may not have to do tomorrow.
3. Fuck. The. Bullshit. It’s exactly what it means. I do not want to deal with anything that doesn’t help me to grow and succeed as a person. Why deal with drama and unnecessary stress? For the past couple of years, I’ve always been sensitive to what people said about me and how I presented myself to others. That kind of stress is nonsense and really isn’t healthy for anyone. So, I plan on adopting the philosophy I’ve had way back in high school and that’s, ‘fuck the bullshit”. It means exactly what it means.
4. Let Loose. I’ve been so uptight about things for so long, that I’ve forgotten how to have fun and just enjoy myself. As I mentioned earlier, I’ve always been consumed about how I presented myself to others. I need to learn to just accept life for what it is, unpredictable, chaotic, and free. This goes for my fighting as well. I’ve always been so scared to let loose fighting that I’ve become too stiff in how I move and execute the techniques. I guess I put so much pressure on myself to win that anything less than perfection is a failure. I’m gonna just let loose and see what happens.